Home | Performances | Photo Album | Resume | Verse | | Day Job | Gratitude |
. . . . . .

Two-Exit Town

I'm not stoppin' in your two-exit town.

Gas-Food-Lodging Ahead, your roadsign cries.
Yeah - better off dead, in these tired eyes.

Oh, you beckon me hither
Inviting me in,
With all the trappings
Of a typical two-exit town.

Your "Easy Off/Easy On" Exxon,
Your strip mall main street
All aglitter in neon.

Your chain restaurant convenience
Serving up soothing sameness
To the world-weary drones
Of this two-exit town.

Chi-Chi's and Chili's, Bennigans, and Cooker,
Denny's and Big Boy, and the home of the Whopper.
Yes, I do deserve a break today
And I do indeed love that chicken from Popeye's.

But if I dare venture in,
I know just what I'll find:
Desolation Boulevard,
Not a soul around,
Because the carpet's rolled up
In this lousy two-exit, one-light town.

So you can stuff your baby-back, baby-back, baby-back ribs...
Baby.

It's 2 am, and the road stretches before me,
Calls to me, begs me, draws me, implores me.
Three hundred miles behind me, since I've gone,
A hundred miles more, until I'm home.

Flying down the highway, windows wide open,
Radio cranked up, the heater's blowing.
Fighting those sleep demons, trying to drag me down
I'm singing like a moron, good and loud.

Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana,
REM and Social D,
Midnight Oil and Green Day,
With a little Public Enemy

Yeah, I'm hopped up on caffeine,
I'm stoked on cheezits,
Look out, baby,
I think I'm Jesus!

And the last glimpse offered by your hapless little town,
A roadsign proclaims:
"If you lived here, you'd be home now."
Yeah, right - if I lived here, I'd shoot myself!

Reduce speed ahead? I don't think so!
I'm not stopping here, I ain't slowing down,
I'm blowing straight through your two-exit town.

Copyright 1997 Danger Boy Productions

Return to Humor Main Page

©2004 Danger Boy Productions